Saturday, May 12, 2012


We can all improve our communication skills!  Common blockages to communication are:  Stress, Emotional Tension, Lack of Sleep, Hunger, Depression/Anxiety and History of Trauma (among others)…

Start with the 3 A’s!  Anyone can begin to improve their communication skills by giving more attention to the 3 A’s of communication:
  • Self AWARENESS – Taking the time to check in with our inner knowing before responding.  Exploring and understanding our patterns so that we may begin to create more effective habits of communication.
  • Radical Self ACCEPTANCE – Accepting how we feel without judgment, doubt or denial
  • ASSERTIVENESS Thoughtfully and respectfully expressing our feelings and responding to requests honestly, with our own well-being factored into the equation. :)
When we are communicating from this place, with our 3 A’s attended to, we feel lighter, freer, more empowered!  Our relationships are more satisfying (no more need to build resentment), our communication is more authentic and  productive and we build confidence and trust in ourselves that positively impacts all areas of our lives.

Also, remember it is as important to listen and hear as it is to communicate honestly and respectfully.  Give both sides of the balance sheet your attention and you will notice a change for the better.

Need some relationship or communication coaching?  Email me at for a free consultation to discuss the changes you'd like to make in your life and to make sure we're a good match! 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


In life, the only thing constant is change.

We like to believe in “the finish lines” of life:  we graduate, find the perfect job, the perfect mate, start our family, retire… with each of these events, part of us believes we’ve “made it”.  Then something interesting happens:  Life doesn’t measure up to our expectations.  We thought having X career or being married or becoming a parent or retiring would be different.

We bring so many expectations to our life’s phases and are often disappointed.  Or, even if we aren’t unhappy with our “new normal” – we may have encountered problems, obstacles or issues we weren’t prepared for!

We may even begin to reminisce about the “olden days” – earlier phases of life that we have already mastered.  We may long for those days when we felt more confident and secure – or at least, we knew what to expect!

The truth is, if we’re not changing, we’re not growing.

As humans, we naturally resist change – sometimes, even to the point of (consciously or unconsciously) choosing stagnation and resentment over change and growth!  All too often, the familiar provides a false sense of security.  I’m not suggesting we embrace every opportunity for change that comes our way or change things in our life that are working for us, but most of us have had the experience of holding ourselves back from new opportunities out of fear – AND THAT’S WHEN WE NEED TO MOVE TOWARD THE FEAR INSTEAD OF AWAY.  That’s when we could use a little extra support as we transition from where we are now to where our best self wants to be. 

Lots of things can help during times of transition:  meditation/prayer; visualization; journaling; talking to a trusted friend; life coaching; therapy or any combination of above...  whatever supports you where you need it most.  And self-care is always important, especially during times of change:  regular exercise and sleep (they’re correlated!), healthy diet and time to laugh and have FUN are all essential elements to re-balancing mind, body and soul. 

Remember to choose your mindset:  transitions can be difficult for many reasons, yet they are also periods of time where we are more open; this can be a time of great creativity and growth!  Be kind to yourself (and others) in the process :) 

Sunday, May 6, 2012


CHANGE:  We often resist it, but truth be told, it’s the only way to grow.  Tension and resistance are needed to effectively shed our old skin before donning the new.  
The truth is when we learn to embrace change, we grow in a way that’s more harmonious.

Using the coaching process to facilitate change involves the following steps:
  1. Assisting clients to clarify their vision and goals and creating a safe space to dream BIG! 
  2. Creating a plan for change 
  3. Moving through the plan and addressing roadblocks together
  4. Developing new skills and resources
  5. Holding clients accountable 
  6. Reminding clients of their Why (motivation) to maintain focus
  7. Celebrating victories! :)
  8. Leveraging momentum to create more change
HOW DO I START?  We begin with a free 30 minute consultation, then commence our work together by committing to a certain number of sessions; this creates the space and structure for our work together. 

After completing the set number of sessions, we take time to REASSESS, REVIEW and RESTRATEGIZE.  This is an important part of the process:  looking at the results we've created and using that momentum to continue onward and upward!

Interested in learning more?  Email me at  We will set up a consultation appointment to explore the changes you want to create in your life and make sure we are a good match!

Saturday, May 5, 2012


It is true that when we change our mindset, we change our lives.

By choosing our thoughts and feelings, we are able to determine our experience to a great extent.  START THIS HABIT NOW with the 4 C’s to guide you.
  1. CATCH yourself when you slip into a negative mindset (i.e., negative self talk, judging self or others).
  2. CHALLENGE the reality of your negative thoughts/beliefs.  Find evidence against the negative thought.  Be open to others’ perspectives and different ways of viewing a situation.  
  3. Give CREDIT to yourself for making the effort to learn and grow.
  4. CREATE your best life through visualization, meditation, using mantras/affirmations or prayer, having a positive outlook, whatever works for you!
BTW, this is the process by which we create the reality we REALLY want (but were hesitant to ask, for fear of being disappointed)

For more information and practical tips on how to shift your mindset for optimal financial success, download your FREE copy of The Science of Getting Rich (SOGR) at 

The Science of Getting Rich offers practical guidance and explains -- in no uncertain terms -- the timeless wisdom regarding one of the absolute Laws of the Universe (like The Law of Gravity):  The Law of Attraction.  Written over 100 years ago, SOGR presents the path toward absolute abundance and should be on everyone’s bookshelf!


Wednesday, May 2, 2012


There are major similarities and distinct differences between therapy and life coaching.  Confidentiality between practitioner and client (with certain, specific exceptions) is the first similarity and creates a safe place to explore and discover one’s self, including areas of vulnerability/weakness and passion/strengths.  Both the therapist and the life coach ask probing questions to uncover beliefs that impact current functioning, and to challenge those that do not serve the client.  The goals of both therapy and life coaching are also similar:  personal growth and a greater sense of fulfillment and empowerment can be achieved through the emotional risk taking and commitment of time needed for the process of change.  

People often seek therapists and life coaches for similar reasons.  The motivation required to voluntarily embark upon a commitment to go beyond our comfort zones is usually borne of necessity.  The discomfort that comes from change or life’s problems usually serves as the catalyst for taking on the endeavor of self-growth.  In other words, we are usually forced into it. 

Life transitions (divorce, death, relocation, job or career change, etc…); feelings of overwhelm due to multiple stressors; ineffective patterns of behavior or coping strategies we have outgrown are just a few examples of how people end up finding themselves feeling stuck, lost, or hopeless.  Even positive stress (a wedding or the birth of a baby), or changes that we have initiated can lead us to these feelings.  However, it is the framework and the focus of the practitioner which guides the process of change and growth.  

In the case of therapy, the focus is often centered on the past.  Therapists look for emotional and psychological traumas and the resulting impact on emotional development.  The therapist and client look for the origins of the presenting problem so as to “connect the dots” – finding the initial wounding that continues to resurface and represent itself in our current lives and the way we view and perceive the world.  In a therapeutic session, we also explore beliefs, patterns and dynamics learned in our family of origin.  By discovering these aspects of ourselves, we aim to put the past in it’s proper context and move on.  The process of exposing these patterns or wounds and resolving them in the present is important groundwork.  It is at times difficult, and can be time intensive.  The payoff, however, can be greater self awareness, a new-found sense of freedom and empowerment, and ideally, new tools for coping more effectively with the inevitable stressors of life.

Because therapy is conducted under the medical model, it involves a comprehensive assessment of one’s biological, psychological, social and family history.  Therapy clients are assigned a diagnosis which entitles them to file a claim for reimbursement with their insurance company, or have the therapist bill the insurance company directly and collect any applicable co-payment.  As such, many people opt for therapy out of financial necessity.  However, due to the medical model approach of assessment-diagnosis-treatment, the relationship between therapist and client is already set into an expert/patient dynamic.  Although great strides are made by many therapists to overcome this built in obstacle to a sense of partnership, it is still part of the overall picture of therapy.

Therapy can be brief or long term, and the right “fit” between client and therapist is essential for progress to be made, as the ability to develop trust in one’s therapist is absolutely key.
This last point can also be said for coaching.  Fit between therapist and client is of the utmost importance for the same reasons:  the client’s ability to be open and honest is necessary for growth.  And likewise with therapy, it is really the client’s feeling about the practitioner that determines whether or not there is a good fit. 

Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.
                                                                                              -Soren Kierkegaard

In the case of coaching, the focus is on the future.  That is not to say that the past is not important or relevant, however, emphasis is placed on getting the desired results.  The coaching process involves clarifying clients’ goals, exploring their motivations for change and then leveraging those motivations to stay focused.  Follow up and accountability are the other essential features of coaching, as most of us if left to our own devices, will waiver off track.  Because coaching is results-oriented, coaches partner with their clients to support and encourage the focus and resolve required to create the desired change.  Coaches also serve the important function of partnering with clients to work through roadblocks when they arise.  In other words, instead of examining problems, in the coaching session, we examine solutions. 

The partnership model is vital to understanding the coach/client dynamic.  The assumption here is that the answers to our problems reside in ourselves, and if we can get out of our own way, we can create more fulfilling lives – indeed, the life of our dreams!  

Fees for coaching and therapy are similar and vary according to the practitioner’s experience and specialty/niche.  Since life coaches are not considered health care practitioners, insurance plans do not cover coaching services and clients pay out of pocket.  This can create an access barrier for certain populations, however many coaches offer different programs to address this issue (ie, group coaching, pre-recorded audio or visual material, bonus material and multi-session discounts).  

Additionally, many coaches offer a wealth of information on their websites or send out weekly tips or e-zines to those on their mailing lists which serve to provide additional support.

The decision to create change in one’s life is a big one – often filled with complex and conflicting emotions.  In fact, ambivalence is a natural and necessary stage of change!  Choosing the practitioner who is the right “fit” for the client is the first and most important next step on the path to creating a better life.