There are major
similarities and distinct differences between therapy and life coaching. Confidentiality between practitioner and
client (with certain, specific exceptions) is the first similarity and creates
a safe place to explore and discover one’s self, including areas of
vulnerability/weakness and passion/strengths.
Both the therapist and the life coach ask probing questions to uncover
beliefs that impact current functioning, and to challenge those that do not
serve the client. The goals of both
therapy and life coaching are also similar:
personal growth and a greater sense of fulfillment and empowerment can
be achieved through the emotional risk taking and commitment of time needed for
the process of change.
People often seek
therapists and life coaches for similar reasons. The motivation required to voluntarily embark
upon a commitment to go beyond our comfort zones is usually borne of
necessity. The discomfort that comes from
change or life’s problems usually serves as the catalyst for taking on the
endeavor of self-growth. In other words,
we are usually forced into it.
Life transitions
(divorce, death, relocation, job or career change, etc…); feelings of overwhelm
due to multiple stressors; ineffective patterns of behavior or coping
strategies we have outgrown are just a few examples of how people end up
finding themselves feeling stuck, lost, or hopeless. Even positive stress (a wedding or the birth
of a baby), or changes that we have initiated can lead us to these
feelings. However, it is the framework
and the focus of the practitioner which guides the process of change and
growth.
In the case of
therapy, the focus is often centered on the past. Therapists look for emotional and
psychological traumas and the resulting impact on emotional development. The therapist and client look for the origins
of the presenting problem so as to “connect the dots” – finding the initial
wounding that continues to resurface and represent itself in our current lives
and the way we view and perceive the world.
In a therapeutic session, we also explore beliefs, patterns and dynamics learned in our family of origin. By discovering these aspects of ourselves, we aim to put the past in it’s
proper context and move on. The process
of exposing these patterns or wounds and resolving them in the present is important
groundwork. It is at times difficult,
and can be time intensive. The payoff,
however, can be greater self awareness, a new-found sense of freedom and
empowerment, and ideally, new tools for coping more effectively with the
inevitable stressors of life.
Because therapy is
conducted under the medical model, it involves a comprehensive assessment of
one’s biological, psychological, social and family history. Therapy clients are assigned a diagnosis
which entitles them to file a claim for reimbursement with their insurance
company, or have the therapist bill the insurance company directly and collect any
applicable co-payment. As such, many people
opt for therapy out of financial necessity.
However, due to the medical model approach of assessment-diagnosis-treatment,
the relationship between therapist and client is already set into an
expert/patient dynamic. Although great
strides are made by many therapists to overcome this built in obstacle to a
sense of partnership, it is still part of the overall picture of therapy.
Therapy can be brief
or long term, and the right “fit” between client and therapist is essential for
progress to be made, as the ability to develop trust in one’s therapist is
absolutely key.
This last point can
also be said for coaching. Fit between
therapist and client is of the utmost importance for the same reasons: the client’s ability to be open and honest is
necessary for growth. And likewise with
therapy, it is really the client’s feeling about the practitioner that
determines whether or not there is a good fit.
Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.
-Soren Kierkegaard
In the case of
coaching, the focus is on the future.
That is not to say that the past is not important or relevant, however, emphasis
is placed on getting the desired results.
The coaching process involves clarifying clients’ goals, exploring their
motivations for change and then leveraging those motivations to stay
focused. Follow up and accountability
are the other essential features of coaching, as most of us if left to our own
devices, will waiver off track. Because
coaching is results-oriented, coaches partner with their clients to support and
encourage the focus and resolve required to create the desired change. Coaches also serve the important function of
partnering with clients to work through roadblocks when they arise. In other words, instead of examining
problems, in the coaching session, we examine solutions.
The partnership model
is vital to understanding the coach/client dynamic. The assumption here is that the answers to
our problems reside in ourselves, and if we can get out of our own way, we can create
more fulfilling lives – indeed, the life of our dreams!
Fees for coaching and
therapy are similar and vary according to the practitioner’s experience and
specialty/niche. Since life coaches are
not considered health care practitioners, insurance plans do not cover coaching
services and clients pay out of pocket.
This can create an access barrier for certain populations, however many
coaches offer different programs to address this issue (ie, group coaching,
pre-recorded audio or visual material, bonus material and multi-session
discounts).
Additionally, many coaches
offer a wealth of information on their websites or send out weekly tips or
e-zines to those on their mailing lists which serve to provide additional support.
The decision to create
change in one’s life is a big one – often filled with complex and conflicting
emotions. In fact, ambivalence is a
natural and necessary stage of change! Choosing
the practitioner who is the right “fit” for the client is the first and most
important next step on the path to creating a better life.
HAPPY CREATING!
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