Monday, November 11, 2013


With so much transition to manage currently, at times I feel like I am running on fumes.  That is to say, I haven't had the usual surplus of patience and understanding.  Recognizing this and wanting to correct it, I recently started setting the intention each morning to remain calm and present, and to not raise my voice with my daughter.  Easier said than done!  But totally worth the effort, as the more I succeed with it, I notice the energy between her and I is lighter, she is more cooperative, and I don't have ammo to beat myself up with.  How am I doing it?  These three things are keeping me focused.

Recognizing my part in it.  With our recent 1000-mile move and all that goes into establishing a new life, I'm taxed physically and emotionally right now!  By recognizing what I am bringing to the situation, I am able to stay present and be less reactive because I'm acknowledging to myself that THIS IS HARD.  I'm giving myself permission to allow things to be what they are and just by dropping the struggle, the struggle disappears.

Recognizing where she is.  Children NEED to hit up against the limits we set to define their safety zone. My daughter also has her own feelings that don't always reflect mine, or what I think they "should" be, or what mine would have been at her age, etc.  Remembering this helps me stay calm when I have to say "No" to the same request 12 times.

Recognizing the big picture.  The innocence of these years is truly PRECIOUS and TEMPORARY.  I want to develop a safe, trusting relationship with my daughter and I want her to know and experience me as reasonable and fair.  Knee-jerking out of frustration sabotages this intention.

So set your intention.  Keep it real and keep it doable.  Notice what's different a week from now and then keep it going!