The next time you say to yourself “I can’t...”, catch yourself and replace it with “I choose not to...”. There are several important reasons to make this small but powerful shift in awareness and communication.
First, “I can’t” is powerless. It embodies surrender. The more we say to ourselves “I can’t...”, the more we find ourselves stagnant, hopelessly stuck, and vulnerable to external factors.
“I choose not to...”, however, embodies power and strength. It is genuine, clear, and honors both self and other. These are elements of healthy and effective communication.
Second, “I can’t...” is lazy. It shirks responsibility shamelessly, like a self-absorbed teenager. When we chose to act from our adult self, we can own our choices and not feel compelled to ask the world for permission or forgiveness.
“I choose not to...” is forthright, and respect-worthy. It is assertive and actively accepts responsibility. How Empowering!
Lastly, “I can’t...” is incorrect. We are always making choices, even when we are choosing not to choose. Procrastinating and allowing the default choice is also a choice. There is always a choice to be made, even if it’s a choice to start by accepting the present moment.
“I choose not to...” reaffirms our innate free-will. It shows respect for self and respect for others. It also gives permission to others to care for themselves, as we serve as a model for self care.
